Mississippi Man and I don’t really do date nights. Since we are military it isn’t possible to drop the kids off at their grandparent’s home. About twice a year we have “date night” and the kids’ uncle will watch them, but it’s only for special events. That’s about to change.
Getting the Kids Out
Our family has a “No Sleep Over” policy…since we don’t have family in the area it’s just the safest bet. Am I over protective? Probably, but I’m okay with the fact that my kids will go to therapy for “over protective mommy issues” if that means they won’t go for sexual abuse trauma. These friends of ours however, have turned to family. We’ve had their little boy sleep over at our house and spend quite a few weekends together. I trust them completely…so it was time to take the plunge. I was just nervous because we had never had the kids gone at night before and didn’t know how we’d occupy ourselves (yep…seriously).
Mississippi Man and I had a great date night, without worrying about what our kids were up to. We went to dinner at a restaurant where we could order off a menu. No one spilled drinks and we didn’t stress when the food took a while to come out.
After dinner we visited the bookstore, and although I ended up buying my kids two books, we were able to browse blend in with other customers. When we left the bookstore we listened to some music and decided to head to Starbucks. We never go to Starbucks…we make our coffee at home. Just hanging out at a coffee shop is something we can never do with kids though, so we decided to try it.
Something amazing happened. Mississippi Man and I connected in a way that I hadn’t even realized we were missing. We talked about all kinds of things, not just about the kids. We weren’t interrupted and we didn’t feel stressed or rushed at all.
A breath of fresh air
So many of our conversations feel like a business meeting. We have to get out the facts that the other partner needs to know before the next crisis occurs. This was different though, and so very nice.
We left Starbucks and headed home for the evening, and I told Mississippi Man that I felt closer to him than I had in quite a long time. I had his full attention that evening (not in that way…get your head out of the gutter!). It was beyond nice. I felt like I had my best friend back, although I had never really lost him.
Date nights are going to happen at least once a month from now on. Even if we don’t leave the house, we are going to make time after the kids go to bed to have coffee or tea together and talk. If we run out of ideas we can use this list from Fabulessly Frugal. We’ll get a sitter when we can, to make sure we don’t feel the constant pressure of maintaining a home pulling at us. It even helped pull me out of the rut I’ve been in. Our marriage is strong after 14 years together, but felt a lot stronger after we had date night.