A well written article on Scary Mommy (of course) is getting a lot of attention, and for good reason. It’s one that I can resonate with. I have two kids. One child is invited to a lot of parties, and I can’t let her go to all of them. I don’t like the parties because I’m insanely introverted. That’s not even considering the fact that we wouldn’t be able to pay our electric bill because we’d be broke buying all those kids gifts. Here’s the thing though. My other kid hasn’t been invited to a single birthday party since school started last fall.
Here’s the thing though: he’s in second grade and it’s March already. He’s a good kid, and actually has quite a few friends at school. I’ve spoken to the teacher about whether or not he has friends, and she assures me that he is doing well socially. She said he has friends, and he sure talks about his friends a lot when he’s at home.
The school has a rule that if any invites are given out, they must be given to the entire class or all of one gender. It’s so that kids don’t get their feelings hurt if they are left out. It’s coddling, sure, but it’s the policy. I understand if the girls in his class haven’t invited him to their parties. Apparently his class hasn’t had any boy birthdays this year.
It seems far-fetched, and it breaks my heart. I don’t understand why he hasn’t been invited. I also don’t want to be “that parent” to ask the teacher or other parents about it. It’s 2017 and people are increasingly sensitive, and maybe I am just one of them. I don’t want to be another parent complaining about why her child is left out.
There are good sides to this. It’s sad but teaches him resilience. We get the opportunity to teach him that life isn’t fair. We aren’t monsters, and we have fun with him while his sister is at a party. He enjoys the one on one time with his Dad or I. He’ll also know how it feels to be left out and be compassionate towards others.
If anyone wants to invite my 2nd grader to a birthday party though, he’ll be there. You don’t even have to give the kid a gift bag. I bet he’d be so happy with the invitation that he’d tape it to his bedroom wall as a prized possession.